Left Alone
by Finvarra Faerie
Summary: Hwoarang is left to take care of his and Miharu's child after Miharu passes away while giving birth. Hwoarang has a tough time doing so and doesn't really know how to care for a child. Through his depression, can he do it? Can he come to love the child?


**Author's Note: **I had this idea for a while now and just decided to write it today. Hope it's enjoyable.

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**Left Alone**

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Hyun Ki.

It meant _wise and energy_. The name described the infant well…_his_ infant.

The infant's cries echoed throughout the dark night, shattering the silence in a very devastating manner. It reminded him of the time when he had purposely thrown a baseball right into Jin Kazama's house window, shattering it. The reason? Well, Jin had refused to give him a rematch, that's why. The sound of the glass shattering had been loud and shrill; that's what it sounded like now with his child's cries breaking the comforting silence.

But…that was a long time ago.

He was surprised he even remembered something like that. It was probably because he had felt immense satisfaction from it when the childish deed had been completed. It had been _amusing_, especially when he watched the horrified look place itself onto Jin's face.

He had _laughed_.

The terrible cries grew noisier.

Sighing deeply, he removed himself from his bed and left his room without turning any lights on. He walked through a dark corridor until he reached a door. Pushing the door open, he sauntered in without hesitation. The cries were even louder in the room.

Walking over to a crib up against the wall in the empty room, he gazed down into it, seeing _his_ baby in there. He was crying hard now, especially at the sight of his father. The infant's face was red and twisted up and his little hands were clenched into tight fists. Every now and then, his offspring would kick his feet in the air, beyond upset.

For some reason, the sight of the child made him want to turn and walk the other way. The infant's cries made him grit his teeth and caused his fists to clench and unclench. _His_ child brought back unwanted memories, memories that he wished to forget. No. He couldn't forget, not with the baby around.

The baby was crying so hard now.

Hwoarang had no choice but to calm him. He reached into the crib and grabbed the infant, gently bringing him to his body and holding him close. The baby's cries continued as he walked around the room, weary and dark.

Eventually, the infant's cries subsided.

Hwoarang sat on the floor, his back against the wall while having his infant in his arms. The little one was now gazing up at his father, his eyes big and curious. Tears still remained on the baby's cheeks, but he wasn't upset anymore. Hwoarang peered down at his son, an untellable expression coloring his facial features.

The clueless infant appeared so _innocent_, but Hwoarang knew that he was _far_ from being innocent in his eyes. He had the overwhelming urge to put the baby back in the crib and leave him there for the rest of the night while he ignored his cries.

"You killed _her_, you know," Hwoarang whispered into the darkness as he stared down at his son, lifting his thumb and gently wiping away the tears on the baby's cheeks. "_You_ killed her. _She's_ not here because of _you_."

The baby continued to stare up at his father, blinking his big eyes. He still appeared very curious and showed that he had no understanding of his father's words at all. A happy and energized smile spread across the infant's lips and he started blubbering baby gibberish.

_Of course._ Hwoarang bitterly thought as he allowed the infant to play with his thumb. _He has no recollection of what happened that night…and probably never will._

**[THE NEXT DAY]**

Hwoarang slowly turned on the sink in the kitchen, watching as the cool water poured from the faucet. After a moment, he raised his right hand and put it underneath the water, letting the cool liquid wash away the blood on his hand from a cut he had received just moments ago.

The male had been chopping up vegetables for lunch with his master, Baek Doo San, who had come to visit for a few days. While he had been chopping up vegetables, the Taekwondo fighter hadn't been paying attention and he ended up cutting himself. His mind hadn't really been on the task at hand and was on something else, well…_someone_ else.

"Are you alright?" questioned Baek as he finished cutting up some potatoes at the kitchen counter. He was giving his student a concerned gaze.

Hwoarang kept his eyes on his bloody hand. The water kept washing the blood away, but the blood kept returning. It was a pretty deep cut, but it didn't hurt as much. He wondered if he would have to get stitches. The redhead sure hoped not; he wasn't setting a foot back in that hospital.

"I'm fine," Hwoarang responded hollowly.

Baek stared at him for a long moment, wanting him to turn around and face him, but his student never did. Sighing, Baek gathered up all the potatoes he finished cutting and put them into a plastic bowl.

He worried about Hwoarang a lot these days. Ever since Hwoarang's fiancé, Miharu Hirano, died while giving birth Hwoarang had gone into a deep depression. He knew the young man desperately tried to hide it, but it showed and it was undisguised. Baek knew that Hwoarang blamed the child and that was a very foolish thing to do, but he didn't talk to Hwoarang about that. He once tried, but they ended up in a vicious argument. It was something he did not want to experience again. Baek wanted his student to see reason, but Hwoarang so stubbornly refused. So, the old man decided to let Hwoarang solve things on his own, but he wasn't going to let him suffer alone. He was going to be there for him until his depression was through, and he was going to be there for the child as well.

Suddenly, a shrill cry came from somewhere within the small home.

It was the baby.

Baek glanced in the direction of where the cries were coming from and then brought his attention back to Hwoarang. The Taekwondo fighter still had his hand under the water, his blood mixing in with the water. The male didn't even react to the sound of his infant's cries and just kept his gaze on his bleeding hand, unmoving.

This disturbed Baek deeply.

"Hwoarang," Baek spoke, a bit of hesitation in his voice. "Hyun Ki is crying."

Hwoarang didn't look at him. "And?"

Baek's disturbance intensified and he was in disbelief by how emotionless Hwoarang sounded. "And?" he echoed, incredulous. "You must go see what's upsetting the child."

Hwoarang snorted.

Baek was even more shocked at Hwoarang's behavior toward the situation and he was about to lecture his student on how a parent should behave, but the redhead removed his hand from the sink and turned it off. He wrapped a towel around his bloody hand and started making his way out of the kitchen. Baek watched as Hwoarang disappeared down a corridor and into a room.

Hwoarang's master breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw his student return with the infant in his arms. Hwoarang was wearing an untellable expression on his face and the baby wasn't crying as much as before. Hwoarang took a seat at the kitchen table and awkwardly rocked the infant back and forth in his arms to calm him.

Baek watched the two of them for a long moment before grabbing the bowl of potatoes and moving to the stove. There was a pan on there already with oil in it. He turned on the stove, waited a while, and then dumped the cut up potatoes into the pan. They instantly started frying.

As he continued preparing lunch without Hwoarang's help, Baek could still hear the baby's cries entering his ears. A foul odor attacked his nose and he frowned, turning around to view his student and the baby. The young man was no longer rocking the child and he was simply staring straight ahead, blood seeping through the towel that was wrapped around his wounded hand. Hwoarang seemed to be in deep thought, which bothered Baek.

"I think he needs a diaper change," Baek informed the redhead, the frown never leaving his facial features. He was very concerned with how Hwoarang was treating his son. "You need to change his diaper, Hwoarang."

Hwoarang sat there motionless for a minute or two before getting up. He silently approached his master and held out the baby to him. Baek took the child and cradled him in his arms. Hwoarang immediately left the kitchen and then quickly returned with a grocery bag that contained baby products inside.

"You never took the stuff out of the bag?" Baek wanted to know, raising an eyebrow.

"No," Hwoarang replied shortly, turning the bag over and dumping it onto the kitchen table. A small box of diapers came tumbling out along with two packs of baby wipes, baby powder, and some other infant items.

Baek gave Hwoarang a disapproving look. How often did his student tend to his son? He had no clue and that really bothered Baek. Did he have to constantly keep watch over the young man?

The older male peered down at the baby in his arms. The infant had calmed down a little, but tears were still escaping his eyes and his hands were balled into tiny fists. The baby resembled both of his parents and appeared to be very healthy, so that meant Hwoarang was taking care of him somewhat.

"Hello, baby Hyun Ki," Baek said softly to the little one in his arms. "No more tears."

"Master," Hwoarang's dull voice pierced his ears. "Put him on the table."

Baek glared at him. "Are you not going to put a blanket down first? The hard surface of the table could be very uncomfortable to the child."

"So?" retorted Hwoarang, uncaring.

Baek bristled at his student's words, but obeyed and put the baby down on his back upon the table. As soon as he left Baek's arms, his crying increased once more and he started screaming, his little face turning red and twisted. Baek immediately felt sorry for the small thing.

Hwoarang had gotten a diaper and opened one of the wipe packs. He removed his son's dirty diaper and instantly grimaced at the sight that greeted him. When he was done gagging and spitting out curses and foul remarks, the Taekwondo fighter awkwardly changed his baby's diaper. While he had been doing that, Baek had went back to preparing the lunch.

The infant had immediately ceased his crying and was now cooing at his father, a large smile on his face. Hwoarang stared at the baby, quickly recognizing that the baby looked so much like _her_. He removed his gaze from the smiling baby and put all of the baby stuff away, feeling an intensifying pain in his chest.

_Miharu_.

He missed her so much. Why did she have to die? Why did she have to be taken away from him? Why did this _baby_ have to live and not her? They were supposed to raise their child together, but she had left him alone! The baby had _killed_ her! There was a chance for her to survive, but she was insistent on saving the child's life instead of her own. Miharu had made the decision to leave him. She had thrown her life away for this _baby_. It made Hwoarang's heart break even more, it made him want to go to his room and sob in despair.

He was alone…he was all alone.

"Hwoarang?"

Blinking back tears, Hwoarang shook his head and put his gaze on his master who was approaching him. "What?" he snapped out. He really didn't mean to snap, he was just emotional.

Baek frowned at his tone, but answered, "The lunch is prepared."

Hwoarang sighed heavily and ran a hand over his face. He glanced at the baby and saw that the little one was still smiling at him, reaching out his little hands toward him. Trembling slightly, the redhead indifferently turned away from the infant.

Baek watched Hwoarang in great disdain. How could his student behave this way toward his own infant? Baek would have to talk to Hwoarang about his behavior, but not right now. He didn't want to go into another argument with him, as what was mentioned before. He just wanted to spend a peaceful afternoon with his two most favorite people in the entire world; Hwoarang and Hyun Ki.

**[A WEEK LATER]**

The cries came again; five in the morning.

Exhausted and purely vexed, Hwoarang viciously sat up from his bed and threw the covers off of him. He swung his legs around and allowed his bare feet to touch the ground. Running a hand through his long hair, he removed himself from his bed and then exited his room.

Before the fighter could reach his son's room, the crying halted. Hwoarang slowed down to a stop and peeked into the room, seeing his master in there, holding his child and pacing around the room while trying to calm the baby down. Baek was whispering things to the infant, but Hwoarang couldn't make out any of the words that came out of his mouth.

After a moment, Hwoarang was about to go back to bed, but the cries started again…this time they were _louder_. Now, within all of the baby's screaming, he could make out some of what his master was saying to the child.

"Ssshh…ssshh, little Hyun Ki," Baek commented in a soothing tone, desperate. "It's alright, it's alright. Ssshh."

A headache was beginning to pound throughout Hwoarang's head because of all of the baby's screaming. That was all his offspring offered him, ever since he was born. All he did was scream, scream, and scream. _Every night_. _Every day_. And what did Hwoarang get for trying to console the wild thing? Headaches, turmoil, and exhaustion.

"Hwoarang! Hwoarang!"

His master was shouting at him, begging him to come into the room. Hwoarang hesitated for a few minutes and then entered the room, his headache getting worse.

"Hwoarang!" Baek sighed in great relief.

Hwoarang eyed the infant in his master's arms, seeing that the baby was still screaming and wiggling about, little feet kicking wildly. "What?" Hwoarang growled, pressing the heel of his hand to his forehead.

"Try to calm him," responded Baek, holding out the baby toward him. "You've been doing it without me here."

That wasn't entirely true. Some nights Hwoarang would just leave the baby in the room to cry and he would listen from his room, not having the strength or the will to leave his bed. Yes, it seemed cruel, but…that was what he did.

"I don't want it!" Hwoarang hissed, eyes narrowing. He put more pressure to his forehead, trying his hardest not to shut his eyes. The headache was getting worse.

Baek stared at him in disbelief. "_It_?"

"Yes, _it_," sneered Hwoarang, fed up. He squinted his eyes shut as his headache intensified. The male groaned a little and shook his head.

"This is your _child_, Hwoarang!" shouted Baek, also fed up. He took a step toward his student, the baby's cries getting even louder than ever before.

Hwoarang opened his eyes and glared at his master darkly, suddenly wanting him to be gone. He didn't need this right now. He didn't need any of this. "It _killed_ her!" he lashed out unmercifully. That was what he believed and that was what he was going to continue to insinuate. Miharu wasn't with him anymore and it was all because of the _baby_. She was gone. He was never going to see her again, never hear her laugh again.

"This infant did _not_ kill Miharu, Hwoarang!" Baek yelled at him, wanting to knock some sense into the young man's head. "He had no control over what happened! Miharu died while giving birth to him; it was her decision! That does not mean that the child killed her! Have some sense! See reason!"

"She chose it over me!" snarled Hwoarang, choleric. "That thing obviously meant more to her than I did!"

Baek was about ready to punch Hwoarang in the face. "You both talked about raising this child together! You were both happy and-"

"SHE'S NOT HERE ANYMORE!" Hwoarang cut him off, his voice louder than the baby's cries.

Everything went silent.

Baek had stopped talking and the baby had stopped crying. Both Baek and the child were now staring at the redhead.

Tears started falling from Hwoarang's eyes and he rapidly wiped them away with his arm, his body trembling slightly. "She's gone," he said much quieter. "She left me. I'm alone now. We can't raise…the baby together, not while she's _dead_."

Baek stared at his student for a long moment before sighing deeply and shaking his head. "Hwoarang, do you not remember what Miharu said before she passed on?"

Hwoarang didn't look at him.

"She said that she wanted you to love Hyun Ki," Baek informed him, sounding very serious. "She said that she wanted you to raise him and to care for him. She…she said that you would be a wonderful father."

"She didn't say that…" Hwoarang mumbled, downcast.

Baek narrowed his eyes at him. "She did say that," he told him surely. "But you were too emotional to realize it at the time."

Hwoarang didn't have anything to say to that.

"Now," Baek commented, walking over to him. "Take your child."

Hwoarang swallowed hard and reluctantly reached out for the infant. Baek gladly put the baby into his arms and Hwoarang held the baby close. The baby was now smiling at up at him with curiosity shining in his eyes. He cooed and tried to reach for Hwoarang's face with his chubby, little hands. Hwoarang, however, kept his face out of reach.

"I'm going back to sleep," Baek wearily said, not wanting to continue their conversation but hoping that Hwoarang would soon see reason. "Think about what I said." Then, without saying anything more, his master left the room while gently shutting the door behind him.

As the baby constantly tried to touch Hwoarang's face, the young man backed up into the door and then slid down to the floor, bowing his head and allowing the infant to touch his cheeks, nose, eyes, chin, and the rest of his features. The baby started blubbering baby gibberish.

Hwoarang started crying softly.

The baby continued to smile.

**[1 YEAR LATER]**

"Awwwwwwww, so cute!"

Hwoarang instantly became annoyed at the voice of Ling Xiaoyu. He looked over his shoulder from where he stood in the kitchen, peering into the living room and seeing Xiaoyu on the floor on her knees with Jin sitting beside her. Baek was there too, sitting across from them while Hyun Ki crawled around on the ground between them.

Of course, Hwoarang was still familiar with Xiaoyu and Jin. The only reason why he still allowed them to come visit his home was because Miharu and Xiaoyu had been really close friends. The only reason for Jin was because Xiaoyu and Jin were married and Xiaoyu refused to leave Jin behind.

"Hyun Ki is so very adorable!" Xiaoyu gushed, reaching forward and grabbing the infant. The Chinese girl held the baby close to her and gave him kisses.

Jin wanted to tell her to calm down, but he didn't dare. The last time he told her that, she became _extremely_ upset. So, he remained silent, as usual.

"Careful with him now, Xiaoyu," Baek warned, watching on in concern as the female swung the baby around.

Xiaoyu rolled her eyes at the old man and stuck her tongue out at him, which was _very_ childish. "Of course I'm careful with little Hyun Ki!" she exclaimed, sounding highly offended. "I'm his aunt for crying out loud!"

"You are not his _aunt_, pigtails," remarked Hwoarang, walking over to them with his hands deep in his pockets. His hair had gotten longer and he didn't feel the need to cut it for some reason.

Xiaoyu huffed and put Hwoarang's child down on the floor. "I _am_ his aunt, _Hwoarang_," she spat, sounding irritated. "Miharu was my best friend, she was like my sister!"

At the mention of _her_ name, Hwoarang looked away from everyone, features hardening.

Jin shook his head at his wife, disappointed.

"Well…" Xiaoyu babbled forlornly, putting on a sad smile. "Um. Anyway, do you have any plans for today, Baek? I was thinking we could all go to the park."

"That sounds nice." Baek smiled.

As they continued on with their conversation, Hwoarang sank to his knees on the floor and just watched them, wanting no part in their conversation. He wondered what it would be like if Miharu was there with them. That brought a pain to his chest, a pain he was very familiar with.

She would _never_ be there.

"Hwoarang, look!"

Breaking out of his thoughts, Hwoarang blinked rapidly to remove the tears from his eyes and lifted his head, his eyes capturing the sight of his son actually _walking_ toward him!

The little one was wobbling uncontrollably, but was taking tiny steps toward him, arms displayed out on either side of him. There was an expression of concentration on the infant's face as he very slowly made his way to his father.

"Oh my gosh, he's walking!" Xiaoyu squealed, hands going to her mouth.

Jin said nothing, watching in interest.

"You can do it, little Hyun Ki!" Baek cheered the baby on, watching happily.

Hwoarang didn't know what came over him then, but he found himself reaching out to his son. His heart was thudding wildly against his chest and he breathed out shakily, the baby getting closer and closer to him. What was this warm feeling coursing through him? He actually _wanted_ the child to reach him without falling. Also, he felt…_proud_. How could he possibly be feeling this way?

When the little one finally reached his father, he blubbered jubilantly and put his tiny arms around his neck. "Dada!" he exclaimed. "Dada!"

Hwoarang held the child close to him, closing his eyes. If only Miharu were there to see this.

**[8 YEARS LATER]**

"Again!" Baek's sharp bark filled the air.

Hyun Ki rushed at the older man with a series of erratic kicks, trying to land a blow in on the male. Baek evaded each and every strike, giving words of encouragement throughout the whole ordeal.

Hwoarang didn't watch, he just listened. He was now a thirty-one year old man. Not much changed about his appearance and he was still healthy and strong. His little boy had grown a lot though; he was now nine years old.

Hyun Ki was full of energy and was always excited and thrilled to train with his father or his father's master. By now, young Hyun Ki knew a lot about Taekwondo and was a good fighter, but not professional. Still, he was always willing to learn and was always energetic and wise for his age. Yup, the boy lived up to the meaning of his name.

"That's enough for today," Baek announced, breathing out a heavy sigh, exhausted. "You are getting better." He reached over and patted the top of Hyun Ki's head.

Hyun Ki beamed at him. "I am?!"

"You are." Baek grinned.

"Thank you!" Hyun Ki exclaimed, absolutely thrilled about the compliment.

Baek's grin broadened and he sat down on the mat, allowing the cool breeze from outside to cool him off. The old man glanced at his student, Hwoarang, who was still sitting off to the side somewhere, gazing out into the wilderness with an untellable expression on his features. Baek still worried about him. He knew that the man was still depressed about Miharu's death, even after nine years, but he was slowly healing.

Hyun Ki took a seat beside him, staring at his father who paid no attention to them at all. A downcast expression settled on the boy's features and he brought his attention back to Baek. "Master?"

"Yes?"

"Does my father hate me?"

Baek was instantly startled by the question and he shifted uncomfortably. "No," he answered quickly, shaking his head. "Of course he doesn't hate you." And that was the truth. As the years went on, Hwoarang had slowly started accepting Hyun Ki as an important part of his life. He had started taking better care of the boy and had been showing him the love he deserved; he had been turning into a much better parent.

Still, even though Hwoarang had been improving as a parent, he still wasn't extremely close with his son. If anything, Baek was closer with the boy than he was. Baek always encouraged Hwoarang to spend a lot of time with his son, but he would always brush it off or promise to do it later, but he never did. Baek knew that Hwoarang was still grieving, but it just bothered him that Hwoarang wasn't spending as much time with him.

"Are you sure?" Hyun Ki questioned Baek, sounding rather skeptical.

Baek gave him a sad look. "I'm-"

"Because," Hyun Ki cut him off, not looking at him. "I see other kids with their dads; their dads are always doing things for them and spending time with them. Even Aunt Xiaoyu and Uncle Jin's kids, Joji, Hachi, and Kazuma, spend time with each other. How come dad doesn't do that?"

"Why don't you ask him?" Baek suggested, not knowing what else to say to that. "He's right over there. I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to ask."

Hyun Ki shifted a little, feeling uncomfortable. "What if he got mad?"

"He won't." Baek promised. "Go."

Without another word, Hyun Ki got up from the mat and approached his father. When he reached him, he sat down next to him so that their arms were almost touching. The boy didn't look at his father and his father didn't look at him. His father seemed to be deep in thought.

"Dad?" Hyun Ki spoke quietly.

Hwoarang slowly turned his head to look at his son, raising his eyebrows. "What is it?" he asked him, sending him a very small smile. It was a little sad too.

"Do you hate me?"

Hwoarang was caught off guard by the question and a feeling of remorse washed over him. Why did his son think that? Was it because of the way he behaved? That was a long time ago though, when he had been foolish and couldn't see reason. He had blamed his son for his mother's death and he had hated him for a while, but he recognized how stupid he had been.

Swallowing thickly, the Taekwondo fighter responded, "There was a time when I did hate you."

Hyun Ki went rigid.

Hwoarang placed a hand onto the boy's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. "I'm not going to lie about that," he told him sincerely, forlornly. "Remember when I told you about what happened to your mother?"

Hyun Ki nodded mutely.

"I blamed you for that," Hwoarang explained grimly, his grasp on his child's shoulder growing stronger. "I blamed you for her death…I blamed you because she chose your life over her own. I loved her so much and I was blinded…I was so foolish…"

Hyun Ki turned to look at his father, an unrecognizable expression dancing along his facial features.

Tears gathered in Hwoarang's eyes and he choked back a sob, trying to remain strong. He didn't want to cry in front of his son. "I came to realize that…it wasn't your fault, Hyun Ki," he went on truthfully, shaking his head. "I came to see you as my son. I came to love you."

Hyun Ki was still silent.

"I am so very sorry, Hyun Ki." Hwoarang bowed his head and turned away, allowing his tears to fall.

After a long moment of silence, Hyun Ki's arm came around him and he heard his voice, "Don't cry, dad."

Hwoarang turned a little bit, seeing his son smiling at him fondly.

"I'm really glad you saw reason," Hyun Ki let him know, rubbing his father's back. "I love you, dad."

Hwoarang pulled the boy into his arms, giving him a bear hug. He kissed the top of the boy's head and shut his eyes.

"I love you too, Hyun Ki…"


End file.
